Choosing Gratitude
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” -Melody Beattie
As the days draw us nearer to Thanksgiving, a holiday ALL about giving thanks, I thought I would dive into the practice of gratitude in this month’s post.
My guess is that most people consider themselves to be pretty grateful in general, but I wonder how many of us have ever had an intentional, consistent gratitude practice. I haven’t, and after digging into and reading so much about the benefits of gratitude, I’ve started my own personal two-week “attitude of gratitude challenge” that will bring me to Thanksgiving Day. I’ve chosen several ideas from this post in an effort to be more deliberate about counting my blessings. I can’t wait to see how it goes!
Let’s get into it and maybe you’ll be inspired to start your own gratitude practice, too!
WHAT IS GRATITUDE?
The Harvard Medical School writes that gratitude is “a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives…As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals – whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.”
Gratitude is more than just saying, “Thank you.” While expressing gratitude is an important piece, it’s much, much bigger than that. It’s a way of being in the world that connects us to all of the beautiful things in our lives that go beyond the material.
The latest phone, a new car, or lots of money might bring us satisfaction in the short term, but gratitude also means paying attention to the small, often-unnoticed, parts of life that remind us of how lucky, blessed, and fortunate we are.
Laughter, time, sleep, community, family, freedom, nature, knowledge, healing, pets, music, memories, kindness, diversity, beauty, second chances, this moment.
THE BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE
There have been many studies over the last decade that point to the benefits of intentionally counting our blessings. According to Psychology Today, people who are grateful feel less pain, experience less stress, have less insomnia, have stronger immune system, experience healthier relationship, and do better academically and professionally.
Gratitude is a spontaneous feeling, but researchers are finding that it also has value when we deliberately cultivate gratitude and make a conscious effort to count our blessings. The Greater Good Science Center, which offers a wealth of information on this subject, outlines the following benefits of a consistent gratitude practice:
- increased happiness and positive mood
- more satisfaction with life
- less materialistic
- less likely to experience burnout
- better physical health
- better sleep
- less fatigue
- lower levels of cellular inflammation
- greater resiliency
- encourages the development of patience, humility, and wisdom
My guess is we could all use more of these things in our lives and there looks to be a huge payoff in quality of life for such a simple undertaking.
“The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.” -Neale Donald Walsh
CHOOSING AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
While poking around for quotes about gratitude, I came across one by Viktor Frankl, author of the incredible book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” *If you haven’t read it, DO IT NOW!* In this book, Frankl writes about his experiences as an inmate in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose our own way, to choose to see the lesson in the midst of adversity.”
Throughout all his years of imprisonment and the unimaginable losses he endured, Viktor Frankl chose to find meaning in his existence…even in a Nazi concentration camp…and thus, a reason to continue living.
Frankl reminds us that we choose the lens (positive of negative) through which we view life and circumstances, and we can choose to find meaning and gratitude in most any circumstance.
Frankl is obviously not saying life will feel easy breezy and you will automatically have a heart full of thanksgiving. He experienced unimaginable atrocities in his life AND he chose to find meaning and a reason to keep going in the midst of it all. We can honor the darkness while being grateful for the light, because without the darkness there is no light.
The duality of life has felt especially intense and ever-present this year. I loved the word “and” before the chaos of 2020, but it has become a go-to of mine this year. It’s perfect for describing everything this year has brought and acknowledges that things feel REALLY hard sometimes AND that there are lessons to be learned and a lot to be grateful for.
Some personal examples:
“This pandemic-quarantine life is really hard, AND I’m so grateful that I have a comfortable home to hunker down in.”
“It will break my heart into pieces to not see family and friends for the holidays this year, AND I’m so grateful we can keep each other safe and still celebrate together with a video call.”
“Distance learning has been challenging for me and my kids, AND I’m so grateful for their hardworking teachers and the extra special bonus time and memories that we wouldn’t have had otherwise.”
We get to choose how we move through life.
SIMPLE WAYS TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE
If you’d like some ways to get started on working a little (or a lot!) of gratitude into your life, here are a few to get you going. I’ve included ideas that are really simple and easy to incorporate into daily life. Yes, even during a pandemic and quarantine.
- Keep a gratitude journal and add “three good things” to it every day.
- Smile more often.
- Notice the beauty in nature each day.
- Cook meals with love, thinking of the people you will feed.
- Volunteer for organizations that help others.
- Avoid gossip or speaking poorly about others.
- Compliment friends, family, and even strangers.
- Thank the people who serve you in the community – shopkeepers, bus drivers, etc…
- Thank your loved ones for the little things they do for you that you often take for granted.
- See the opportunity for growth in your mistakes and challenges.
- Before getting out of bed, consider three things that you are grateful for.
- If you have children, take a moment with them before bed-time to ask them about what they’re grateful for.
Choose an idea from the list, or a few, and intentionally practice them for two weeks. Notice how your perspective changes. How the people around you change. Let the goodness ripple out from your little corner of the world and out into the collective.
We could all use a lot of ripples of goodness right about now.
