Hitting the Pandemic Wall
“Deep within every crisis is the opportunity for
something beautiful.” -Kate McGahan
Have you heard the phrase “hitting the pandemic wall” floating around recently?
I have. And I think I may have smacked straight into it myself. Honestly, I’ve felt pretty good most of the last year, but the past month has unexpectedly kicked me in the teeth.
It’s not just that I’m tired of the isolation or tired of wearing a mask. It’s something deeper. I’m feeling uninspired, getting plenty of sleep yet still feeling exhausted, out of balance (not a good feeling for this Libra!), emotional…
I told a friend the other day that if I had to narrow my current state of being down to one word, it would be ‘untethered.’ Just floating from day to day, waiting for some certainty to come my way.
Mental health experts say that feeling this way, especially at this stage of a global pandemic, is very normal. But it’s not just the pandemic. It’s everything the pandemic has wrought…and then some.
WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH
In the year it’s been since COVID-19 changed life for all of us, the US has seen ongoing social justice protests, a hotly contested presidential election, two presidential impeachment trials, and an insurrection at the US capitol. 75 million Americans have filed for unemployment, folks have been navigating working remotely, millions are at risk of being evicted from their homes, businesses are closing, parents are juggling work and caring for kids and helping with distance learning…and yes, there’s still COVID.
It has been a long hard haul! Many are burnt out, experiencing pandemic fatigue and exhaustion. All of this has over-activated our stress system, and a year is a looong time to be in fight-or-flight.
Typically, when we encounter a stressful event, the brain sends a burst of energy through our body so we can respond to the threat. Once the threat is removed, the brain and body calm down and return to a normal level of cortisol.
This last year has been distinct in that we haven’t had the chance to catch a break. The stressors haven’t been removed and the stressful event(s) is there to greet us every morning. We’ve had cortisol pumping through our bodies at rates we haven’t had to contend with ever before.
Amy Cirbus, a licensed mental health counselor and director of clinical content at Talkspace explains that we’re “more at risk for burnout because of our circumstances and because of the fact that we’re continually re-traumatized and [reactivating] that cortisol spike.”
In addition to all of the added stress of the last year, many of the ways we used to manage our stress aren’t necessarily options now. Things like the gym, taking a vacation, going out with friends, or even visiting with family.
WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT?
So, what are we supposed to do? What’s the good news?
The good news is: There’s a light at the end of this long pandemic tunnel. Vaccinations are happening, spring is nearly here and we’ll be able to venture outside again. And while it feels like so much is out of our control, we can still focus on what we do have control over.
Make some plans
One thing we can focus on is what we can do to make our life better right now. Think of all the amazing things you’ll do once the pandemic is over. Make some (safe + responsible) plans you can get excited about. Maybe you’ll finally get to hug Grandma, have a dinner party, or take that vacation to the beach. It lifts our spirits to look forward to the fun things we have planned.
Do a time audit
Another thing that might help is to make a list of your values and what’s really important to you. Next, take a look at how you’re spending your time. You’ll probably realize that the things that are most important to you are getting the least attention – that there’s a disconnect between what you want to be doing and what you’re actually doing.
Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Author of “The Art of Showing Up” recommends doing a quick time audit to see what’s making you feel really drained. She suggests taking a look back through your camera roll, text messages, emails, calendar, phone calls – however you record your life – and think about what made you feel really good.
At the end of the week or the end of a day, look back through those things (the texts, camera roll, etc.) and name three things that felt really good. Now notice what drained you. The patterns will emerge and it will be clear what you need more of and what needs to go.
While it’s important that you show up for yourself, it’s
always ALWAYS okay to ask for help if you need it.
Know what you really need
If you’re feeling blah and uninspired, start taking small steps to do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel bad. It really is that simple, but it’s not necessarily easy. It requires paying attention. We so easily get on autopilot and check out – especially after a year of pandemic living where your options are limited and you fall into the same narrow patterns day after day (raises hand).
Miller emphasizes how important it is to figure out who you are and what you need to feel content, good, happy, energized. Is it sleep? A workout? Journaling? Maybe it’s excelling at work, or family time. Once you’re clear on what you need, create a plan on how to do more of those things.
This comes down to knowing who you are and what your needs and boundaries are (y’all know this is my favorite thing!). Don’t rely on what works for other people. What works for your BFF, colleague, or family member may be totally different than what works for you. Don’t be afraid to try on different things and figure out what brings YOU relief, enjoyment, and support.
Remember the good
Don’t forget to reflect on and make a list of all of the awesome things that happened in the last year. We all know it hasn’t all been unicorns and rainbows, but there is plenty to be grateful for. Moments big and small that we want to remember forever; moments we will hold close to our hearts as unique to this unprecedented time.
Don’t go it alone
While it’s important that you show up for yourself, it’s always ALWAYS okay to ask for help if you need it. If a friend or loved one asks how you’re doing, be honest. And if you need support, let them know. It not only gets you the help you need, but reminds others that they have permission to be vulnerable and truthful as well.
Acknowledging your feelings is essential. Go easy on yourself and remember you (and everyone else!) have been through A LOT. There is a light at the end of this COVID tunnel and we’ll get there. Together.
Here are some other posts you might find helpful right now:
Navigating Liminal Space
3 Ways to Stay Grounded in the Face of Fear
