Less Hustle and More Flow
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~Lao Tzu
What if you could move through life with more ease? What if things didn’t always have to be so complicated?
I know. It sounds laughable. Unbelievable even. Living with ease goes against everything modern society has told us about how life works. Stress, anxiety, striving, grasping, and struggle have all been glorified as the only ways to get ahead, be successful, and make a life for ourselves. We start to feel as if life is a constant battle and we’re all just swimming upstream.
Every day we are each called upon to find our own sense of balance between doing too much and not doing enough. An authentic life requires knowing when it’s time to step up and “do”, and when it’s time to step back and “be.” Too much of one or the other and you’ll find yourself wishing you could “just find some freaking balance already!”
Most of the clients I work with have the stressed out and bogged down part of the equation nailed. They all know how to run themselves ragged in an effort to do and be everything to everyone. Can anyone else relate?
Don’t get me wrong. There will always be periods of busyness and hustle and stress in life. There are seasons when you’re working extra hard to finish or create something and feeling more exhausted and stressed than usual. Sometimes things just go sideways or something unexpected and out of your control happens. You’ve just got to power through some of these temporary situations. HOWEVER, if you find yourself living from a general place of anxiety, overwhelm, and constant pressure, know that there is another way!
Here are a few ideas to get you started on the path to more balance, simplicity, and calm:
1. Slow. Down.
No, really.
The most important thing you can do to step closer to a life of equilibrium and calm is to slow the eff down. In our culture, you’re hailed as a hero for everything you accomplish in a day, while it slowly suffocates you minute by scheduled minute. When you’re rushing and frantic and everything feels like a full-on sprint of urgency, the struggle is real just to keep up with everything you’ve committed to.
Author Shauna Niequist in her book, “Present Over Perfect,” compares our commitment to doing and being all the things to trying to drink from a firehose (such an amazing visual, yes? I laugh every time.). It will NEVER WORK, and it’s definitely not going to end well. The hamster wheel of “doing” is grueling and categorically unsustainable.
When you can, choose your commitments thoughtfully. Choose to create space for quiet. For family. For yourself. Stop saying yes to shit you don’t even like (you know you do it!). Trust that you’re not as important or irreplaceable as you might like to believe.
Slooow. Dooown.
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart:
I am, I am, I am.” -Sylvia Plath
2. Turn Inward & Breathe
Sit. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be alone with your thoughts. Get to know yourself and your truth. Deeply. When you intimately know yourself and your wants, needs, and strengths, you’ll be more in touch with what’s happening for you on an emotional level.
Brené Brown explains that when we keep ourselves crazy busy, we get so out in front of our life that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us. Hustling too hard keeps us ahead of our truth and has us proving our worth by doing. Let yourself be still and know that you’re already worthy.
Finally, being still and focusing on your breath calms your mind and body. It’s important to offer them both some rest and recovery – especially if they’ve been having to work overtime to try and create some stability and balance for you.
If you need further convincing about the amazing effects of breathing, check out this list of some of the benefits:
8 Benefits of Breathing Well (mindfully, naturally, and deeply) *
- The body relaxes and begins to release tension.
- The nervous system is balanced.
- The heart rate lowers.
- Oxygen levels flowing to the brain increase so the mind can calm and focus.
- Pent-up emotion and tension can release.
- Stress hormones are lowered.
- The body’s production and distribution of natural opiates increases.
- Oxygen and carbon dioxide levels are balanced, which reduces inflammation and risk of infection.
Pretty amazing, right? Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.
* From “Breathe: Simple Breathing Techniques For a Calmer Happier Life” by Jean Hall
3. Ask Yourself What You Need
When you slow down and breathe, you can really tap into what you need. Maybe it’s a bath. Maybe it’s yoga or a hike. Maybe your blood sugar is low and you just need a frickin’ snack. Sometimes, it might be finishing up that last bit of work so you can truly relax and be present. It might even be taking some time to really dig into what you need to let go of in order to make space for what genuinely lights you up (your family, a project you’ve been putting off, a class you’d love to take).
Take a few minutes to check in with yourself. You can do some journal writing for a big-picture idea of what you need in general, or simply take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”
One more piece of knowing what you need is understanding natural rhythms. This is an area that can make a big difference in how much ease you’re feeling! Are you a night owl or an early bird? What time of day do you feel most energized? How do you feel differently in each season? When you spend too much time and energy struggling agains the way your body and mind function most effectively, frustration and disappointment are guaranteed to come calling.
Most of us are bound to commitments and schedules (or kids!), and it can be challenging to always follow our natural rhythms. This is another opportunity for you to choose to create ease and flow: do the best you can with what you have, and let the rest go. Don’t beat yourself up because you can’t do it perfectly. Practice grace and forgiveness for yourself and others and know that even this will transform the way you show up for your life each day.
Choose one of these ideas this week and give it a go. Make it yours and modify it to fit your needs and priorities. This is the whole point, right? To invite ease, not create another list of things to do! Decide what’s right for you and then be gentle. Don’t forget the grace, forgiveness and self-compassion. Make it a part of your daily practice and feel yourself expand into the simplicity and flow that evolves.
