Shadow Work 101
“Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” -Carl Jung
Let’s Start With a Metaphor, Shall We?
Have you ever done an embroidery project? If not, I’m sure most of us have at least seen one. On the front is a beautiful display of color and pattern. But if you turn the embroidery over, you’ll most likely find a big ol’ mess.
Embroidery is the metaphor British writer and speaker, Alan Watts, used to describe the Jungian concept of the shadow self. We love to present all of our wonderful qualities to the world, while hiding our “mess” away conveniently in the back; out of view.
October is shadow season – the days are getting shorter and darker, the natural world is slowing down and conserving energy, and we humans have the opportunity to get really deep with ourselves and examine our inner world after the outwardly focused fast-paced months of summer.
The purpose of this post is to give you a BRIEF introduction to shadow work so that you’ll have a better idea of what it is and whether or not it’s something that resonates with you. It can be messy and painful work, but the healing that greets you on the other side is so so sweet.
What is the shadow?
Let’s start with the very basics – what the heck is a shadow self anyway? “Shadow” is a term coined by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. In Jungian psychology, our shadow is the parts of ourselves that we love to pretend don’t exist. It’s all of the things we repress and deny and all of our deepest wounds. Often, it’s an unconscious aspect of ourselves. Sounds super fun, right?
From the moment we’re born, we’re continually being taught what is “good” and what is “bad.” As time goes on, we learn to put all of our good traits on display and hide as much of the negative as we can. These negative aspects become our shadow. Jung believed that the key to living in a balanced way was to integrate our shadow so that our full self is acknowledged.
“I am not looking to escape my darkness,
I am learning to love myself there.” -Rune Lazuli
Why is it important?
There are many benefits of doing shadow work. Here are a few:
- Improved relationships with others.
- Overall enhanced state of wellbeing and mood.
- Mental, emotional, and spiritual clarity.
- Discovery of hidden gifts and talents.
- A feeling of wholeness.
In the world of personal and spiritual growth, coaching, healing, etc…it is often believed that if you just awaken to your higher self and transcend beyond your negative traits, you will arrive at some beautiful meadow where the angels sing and the sun’s rays shine down upon you.
THIS IS SPIRITUAL BYPASSING. Psychotherapist John Welwood coined the term, which he defined as “using spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal and/or emotional ‘unfinished business’ in order to shore up a shaky sense of self.”
Spiritual bypassing is really appealing. Why would you choose shadow work, which is dark, messy, and uncomfortable when you could just love and light our way through life? Because when you face the disconnected parts of yourself with honesty and courage and take ownership and responsibility for them, they’re integrated into your life and you find true healing and wholeness.
“Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life.” -Steve Wolf
How do you do it?
One quick note before we dive into this one. Before you take on any work with your shadow self, I encourage you to first be sure your self-love is well-established (it doesn’t have to be off the charts; average is just fine). You’re just going to add an extra layer of overwhelm to things if you dive into your childhood wounds, fears, mistakes, anxieties, and darkest thoughts if you’re already feeling poorly about yourself. So PLEASE, if you currently have poor self-worth, do yourself a BIG favor and start by first doing work in this area before you take on shadow work. I promise, you’ll thank me.
There are many ways to practice shadow work – it’s a deeply rich topic and there is a lot of great information out there from books and articles to in-depth blog posts and podcast episodes. I highly recommend taking the time to read up and do some of your own research. There are plenty of ways to approach this work and it’s worthwhile to find one that resonates and works for you.
Here’s a small list of ideas for doing shadow work that you might find helpful in getting started:
- Pay attention to your emotional reactions.
- Notice when you judge, criticize or blame, and pause – what are you avoiding by focusing externally?
- Guided meditation.
- Artistically express your shadow self (art therapy).
- Practice radical responsibility for your emotions and reactions rather than blaming others.
- Write a story or keep a shadow journal.
- Be honest about your shadow thoughts and fears, then remind yourself what’s true.
While this post just begins to scratch the surface of shadow work, I hope that it’s given you enough information to pique your interest. Shadow work is some of the messiest, most important, transformative work I’ve ever done in my own life – I’ve found it to be incredibly uncomfortable and fantastically worthwhile. Maybe you will, too.
